|What is my age:||I'm 40 years old|
It can be hard to admit you're lonely and want more friends but I decided to do something about it. With 13 contributors all trying to become new friends in One Hot Summerour writer Rad talks about how she found the experience of making new pals as an adult. When I turned 28 this year, I looked around at the friends who'd made the effort to come to my birthday. In many ways, it was like the other birthdays that had come before: roughly 20 people were there, a dozen or so had cancelled at the last minute, and a handful of my very closest friends had really gone the extra mile.
While lots of old friends had bailed out or just not bothered to show up — maybe in the recognition of the fact that we'd been growing apart — the majority who did turn up were people I'd barely known a full year, but who'd quickly become some of my closest friends. Such a large of new friends is pretty 29 yr old just want to hang out.
But friendships are undeniably important. A study found that having strong social connections can improve your physical health, in terms of being less likely to be obese or have high blood pressure; while a research paper found that loneliness can increase the risk of cognitive decline, possibly due to a lack of brain stimulation.
I only made a handful of friends during my degrees, and embarrassingly, after five years in my old job, there's just one good friend who I still see regularly.
2. reasses the situation
And it showed. As lovely as my oldest friends are, we no longer had much in common. When I started my freelance career at BBC Three last September, I forced myself to do what I never had in my old job: I decided to be completely open to making new connections.
I said yes to all invitations for drinks or lunch and, by the end of week one, I found myself in the pub sharing my insecurities with three near-strangers. That sped our friendship along far quicker than small talk.
Within days, I found I had two brand new friends: the then-graphic deer Sarah and fellow writer Natalie. At the start, I knew someone had to make the first move, so as embarrassing as it was, I created a WhatsApp group and initiated our plans. But after a while, the tables turned. In just 10 months, I've been able to open up to them in a way I never have with other friends.
Like most Londoners, I never really knew my neighbours. So when I set out on my friends-making mission, I decided to start across the corridor. Mandeep and I got on so well that I started knocking on his door whenever I needed neighbourly help. He fixed my wifi, lent me a drill and he even let me watch Blue Planet at his house when my TV broke. After a while I decided to repay him by taking him out to dinner.
Everyone always says the best way to make new friends as an adult is to take up new hobbies. So last summer, I forced myself to do just this. That was when I met Jamie and Christie. Unlike most of my existing friends, they work in science and construction — two fields I know nothing about, but find fascinating. They were both a lot more active than me, but one day we all faked illnesses to have a lie-in and truly bonded. We spent the day chatting about everything — from our biggest goals and failures to our vaginas.
We ed occasionally after that trip, 29 yr old just want to hang out six months later they invited me to them on a road trip to the Grand Canyon. I hesitantly said yes — would it be weird? But after an awkward first night in a motel, it became one of my favourite-ever holidays. We spent hours sharing our life stories in the car, laughing non-stop at dinner and bonding over the incredible views on our hikes. As soon as we got back, we started planning our next road trip. We might not speak every day or even every week, but I treasure my friendship with them. When my ex and I split up 18 months ago, I not only lost him as a best friend, I also lost all his friends.
So when I started becoming friendly with my ex again, after almost a year apart, I decided it would be a good time to pick up my friendship with one of his best mates. James and I had always got on. Last year, we asked my ex if it would be weird if we hung out alone, and after getting the all-clear, we started going to galleries together, having dinner, and booking theatre tickets. It's always been platonic — neither of us would ever go there — and it's been fun having a new friend who's always up for going to a new exhibition or show.
I never expected to make friends like this. And not all of them worked out. But I found the best way to take things to the next level was to open up.
Once I shared my insecurities, they reciprocated, and now we have friendships that are built on much stronger foundations than some of my older ones. Apetamin: Regulator investigating 'slim thick' drug after BBC investigation.
Mental health nurse: 'After three lockdowns people's mental health is wearing thin'.
Sexual assault at school: 'I still feel unsafe, something needs to change'. Radhika Sanghani 25 July Share this:. Copy this link. BBC Three. This article was originally published on 29 June More from Gender. Canada's Drag Race. Kate Nash: Underestimate the Girl. The artists inspired by the Women's World Cup. Stacey Dooley.
Most Popular. How to masturbate. Every question you ever had about female ejaculation, answered. Young, female, and addicted to porn.