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Minnesota holds first hearing on marriage Vanasco By Vanasco, Adult survivors of childhood sexual can have a really difficult time processing everything. Some survivors actually have an aversion to sex. It's hard to enjoy sex when you're having flashbacks. Or tastes and smells and sensations force mind-fucking memories of to the forefront. So when I say he has to WANT to feel those sexual feelings, and really connect with his wife that way, I really mean it.
It can be tempting to just ignore sex, put it out of your mind. And the sad fact is that for therapy to be successful, it almost always requires dredging up a lot of painful shit you'd rather not deal with. But like a root canal, ya gotta dig deep and clean out that shit before you can heal. And in the OP's case, maybe he needs to confront his abuser, and his father, in person, or in guided therapy with a surrogate.
Or to write letters that he sends, or burns. But he deserves to let it out. I almost want to pound on his abuser myself.
But definitely, I don't stand in judgment of the OP. I don't accuse him of not trying hard enough. It's more like, moment of truth. So much is at stake. His marriage, his. I they can work it out. Pawlenty, who is testing the waters for the Presidential race, has said he would veto any marriage that came to his desk.
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