Are you in a relationship with someone who seems to need more than anyone can give them?
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Emotionally needy people are very hard to live with. Often, it becomes so stressful for the other partner that the relationship eventually fails. But there are some things you can do to overcome this difficult problem. Here are just a few.
This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform. The first step to dealing with emotional neediness in your partner is to understand clearly what the phrase means. A needy person is so caught up in trying to get their needs met that they won't likely Someone needy close by much help in explaining it. You need to know what this phenomenon looks like and understand that it isn't as clear-cut as you might think.
While your ificant other might be needy most of the time, it's unlikely that that's always the case with everything they say and do. So, it's important to sort out the needy behavior from the healthy. Here are some s of emotionally needy behavior.
It's also important to remember that, yes, everyone does have needs. And, in a close relationship, the two people usually meet some of each other's needs. The problem comes when they expect you to meet all their needs - both needs they Someone needy close by meet for themselves and needs they could address with other people outside the relationship. And, they not only demand that you meet these needs, but they also use emotional tricks to make your life miserable until you do meet them. It's natural to be frustrated when someone you're close to is so needy that it's damaging your relationship.
But, before you write them off and end the relationship, it might help to consider the source of their exaggerated sense of need. Ego identity is a term that refers to the identity you formed in your teen years.
What to do if you’re in a relationship with an emotionally needy person
In a Psychology Today article, the author describes the ego identity as an identity you developed so you could survive when you were younger. Furthermore, this identity is not just about who you are to yourself, but it also includes what you think you need to get from other people.
It shapes your sense of where to get recognition, respect, control, or attention.
If you reject your partner's demand to meet their needs, it challenges their whole concept of where that help will come from. That's when they become fearful, angry, frustrated, or sad. Each person develops an attachment style when they are very young. They may have a healthy attachment, an avoidant attachment, or an anxious attachment. The needy person is typically someone who formed an anxious attachment in their childhood.
How to manage your behavior
They're always worried about losing the person they rely on most. And people who are anxiously attached have highly inflated ideas of what their ificant other can provide. In fact, in one studyresearchers found that people who were anxiously attached had the highest scores for idealizing their partner. It isn't surprising that if your partner thinks you are the best, the brightest, and Someone needy close by most powerful person they know, they're likely to expect you take care of their every need.
A major source of neediness is feelings of fear and excessive vulnerability. During stressful times, these emotions can become much stronger.
The biggest challenge needy people face is figuring out what they need.
So, if your partner is under a lot of pressure at work or dealing with a difficult personal problem, they're probably going to be more needy than ever. Now that you have a better perspective on this issue of your partner's emotional neediness, it's time to start thinking about how to respond to it. Start with these suggestions, but if you find that you need more help, it's a good idea to talk it over with a couple's counselor.
Sometimes, it helps to set aside your feelings about their needy behavior and talk about what might be triggering it. Ask them how they're doing, and if there's anything stressful going on in their life right now. You have to be careful not to get caught up in their demands for your attention, but a short, direct conversation about the situations they're facing gives them a chance to clue you in about the source of their problem.
If you care about your partner and want to stay in the relationship, it makes sense to support them in becoming a more independent person. Instead of pushing them away, Someone needy close by ways they can meet their own needs.
How to tell your friend they’re being clingy (without hurting their feelings)
Do it positively, in an encouraging, nonjudgmental way. They might not listen to you, but then again, it could be the start of a better relationship for both of you. Even if you care deeply about someone, it's important to have boundaries and state them clearly. You can't expect your partner to never cross the line into emotional neediness if they don't know where the line is for you.
Instead of making a general statement, like "Stop expecting me to do everything for you! Tell them exactly what you're willing to do and what you aren't. Then, they have the opportunity to do their part to improve the relationship in a way that's comfortable and acceptable to you. For your mental health, give yourself some space to experience life outside of the relationship. Take some Someone needy close by every day to do things that don't include your partner. Have some alone time and some time with your friends. Go out and do an activity that they don't enjoy.
Why people become clingy
And, while you're away from them, let your mind focus on what you're doing and who you're with right then. When you come back to be with your partner, you'll feel refreshed and better able to deal with their neediness.
One thing needy people are very good at is making you feel guilty.
They place all the pressure on you to take care of their needs. And, when you can't, they push all your buttons to make you feel like it's your fault they aren't happy. When that happens, remind yourself that you're only one person, and you can't solve every problem they have.
Permit yourself to be happy with yourself, even when they aren't happy with you.
An excessively needy person isn't going to like it when you tell them you can't meet all their needs. They're going to take it as a massive rejection. They may become extremely angry with you. Or, they may become sad. They might pout for days about something that seems minor to you. Remember that you can't control their emotions.
You can be kind to them, but you can't make them be what you want them to be. Getting along with someone who is needy is challenging for anyone. And, while the above suggestions might help, a couples' therapist could offer even more assistance.
Why having needs is important to your success.
They can help the two of you learn to communicate in healthier ways. Through the therapeutic process, they can help your partner understand the distress they're causing you. They can teach them and encourage them to meet some of their needs in other ways besides always pushing you to meet them.
Going to counseling together could help you develop a much healthier relationship. However, if your partner isn't willing to go with you, there's no reason you can't go to a couple's therapist on your own. They can not only help you understand what's happening, but they can give you tools and teach you techniques to respond in healthier ways. Eventually, your partner might decide that they want the support that you're getting from therapy.
And, if you're positive in the way you present it, they may be eager to go to therapy with you. But whether they do or not, the first thing you need to do is get help and support for yourself.
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When you do that, you can start working to Someone needy close by the dynamics of an unhealthy relationship and make it better for both of you. An emotionally needy person depends much more on the emotional support of others than the average person. They may need constant reassurance and end up pushing others away although this is the opposite of what they want due to their needy behaviors. In many cases, a person who is emotionally needy has an anxious attachment style.
Your attachment style is developed as and forms as a result of the relationships you had with your parents; if you experienced inconsistent nurturing while growing up, that can have lasting effects on your adult relationships.
If you find yourself feeling emotionally needy and wish to learn more effective methods of communication to improve your relationships, counseling or therapy could be very beneficial Someone needy close by you. You can also work on your emotional neediness on your own, starting by reading articles like this one and applying the knowledge to your life. The reason that some people are needy in relationships goes back to their attachment style. Your attachment style is developed as in response to the way your parents treated you. Those who grew up with toxic or dysfunctional parents, or parents who only nurtured them intermittently, are likely to develop an anxious attachment style.